Another day, more things heard

 Had a bad day emotionally today. Getting frustrated at my lack of health, but also the energy that i'm lacking due to it being sucked out of me so my brain can relearn & decode all these words its hearing for the first time in ages. I've said it before, but I honestly never realised it would be that draining. I'm hoping it will end soon! I dunno if thats because i'm combining my days with looking after lil miss & trying to understand what she is saying. I mean, she babbles so much sometimes i'm sure noone understands her. Even hubby will say he doesn't know what she's talking about many times. And yet, I think my brain is seeing it as a word & trying to decode it or something along with trying to just learn all the everyday words. Anytime I sit down, I feel like I should just lie down for a second...

And yet when its bedtime, my body doesn't want to sleep. When I turn off my sound processor the tinnitus comes in & boy is it loud! Think of it as a recording of the days communication perhaps. That parts not tinnitus, but its so frustrating! Its like i'm hearing lil miss call me & yet, obviously if she was calling me I wouldn't hear her coz I have the sound processor out. So far i've found that all the things I hear at night when its out, are related to something I have heard that day. Maybe like a revision test or something. lol.

what i'm hearing today:

• I heard the postie knock on the door this morning to deliver a parcel! Wow, long time since that has been possible! Even with hearing aids, I often couldn't hear it
•  I've heard the word "WHY?" after every response I give to my lil miss lol. So there is one thing I haven't missed out on in her learning curve ... the beginning of the 'Why?' phase hehe
• Hung the washing out today & was able to hear the people in the backyard behind our land. Couldn't understand what they were saying word for word, but I could hear them speaking. They are doing some landscaping or something on their backyard & there was use of power tools etc & hammering in the nails. I could hear all that sort of thing. 

Now, don't get me wrong ... I joked earlier today on facebook that I should go back to being deaf so I don't have to deal with lil miss & her "WHY" phase with everything ... I don't really wish that. I treasure all of this. It is annoying of course, but I wouldn't ever wish to turn back the clock & not ever be able to hear my daughter. Not for a single moment. Or any other reason. I have already missed out on the first 3yrs of her life & I hope I never have to miss out on a single thing from now on. Every moment is precious. Every word she says, I smile - one: because I heard it & two: because she's my lil girl & I am living my ultimate dream now which was to hear my lil girl! I don't ask for much in life.

So that is something to think about next time you say "Gosh, I wish I was deaf". Trust me ... you wouldn't really ever want that ever.  I know all humans have their moments & are loud & annoying & you wish they would shut up. But be thankful because sound is a beautiful thing. It really is! Don't ever take it for granted. xxx